“If only one person’s presence makes up for the absence of another but it just doesn’t.”
I’m sad. (I cried last night.)
A friend of mine just left. ( No, not left like “not right”. And don’t take “not right” to mean wrong. I mean….Oh, you already knew what I meant in the first place? Ok then. … *awkward silence*)
Yes. A friend of mine left for somewhere, several islands away from where I currently am. He’s going away to work. His first job. I should be happy for him. He’s a recently licensed engineer and now he has a job to boot. Well, actually I am happy for him. It’s just that it saddens me that I wasn’t able to bid him a proper goodbye. That during the few weeks before he left, I never used the time to get together with him. He’s one of my closest friends. (Remember that guy stuck in my friendzone for a good reason? Yeah. That’s the same guy I’m ranting about right now.)
He greeted me during my birthday but I gave him a less than enthusiastic reply. *sighs* He called before boarding the ship I guess but, I hadn’t the guts to take that call. Oh, haven’t I told you how I hated goodbyes? Well, there you have it. I hate goodbyes. I hate being left behind. I hate it when people say goodbye.
…
This is why I wanted to leave for the States! For once, I want to be the one leaving. I want to be the one saying the goodbye. As if it feels better being on the other side of this tirade.
But I know that won’t fix anything. I’m still gonna miss people. If there’s one thing about me, it’s that I put a high price on friendships. I wonder if my friends are aware of this though. I put a high value on my relationships. I’ve been in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship only once. Didn’t work. We broke up. The breaking up took its toll on me pretty hard when it did. Nevertheless, that’s all behind me now. My point in sharing that sensitive matter: I don’t take break ups easily. That applies to all of my relationships. I had this friend once, we used to be really close not unlike soul Velcros. It was a long distance friendship. We met in highschool, she transferred, migrated, then went to college. Long story short: I was left. She eventually “moved on” (with her new life). She took a chunk of my soul with her. (I hope we meet again someday and she’d return me.)
It’s ironic though, that I have more than a handful of LDFs (Long Distance Friendships). So yeah, you could say I’m an expert on this.
I’m not. Actually.
I’m still learning how this ordeal works. Good thing technology makes it possible to interact in real-time. Like we don’t have to wait for how many days for a telegram or snail mail to arrive. (But then, I’m a romantic and an old soul. I wouldn’t mind receiving a handwritten letter or artwork anytime. :3 😉 )
It’s just hard knowing that a friend just went farther away y’know. What used to be a 2-hour drive has now become an overnight-across-the-sea trip.
So, I’m ending this entry with a poem. One I’ve learned to love since our English teacher introduced it to us in freshman year in high school.
Diaspora
by Oscar Picazo
My grandpa went to HAWAII
My mother is in CALIFORNIA
My father died in SAUDI ARABIA
My sister is a maid in HONGKONG
My brother is singing in JAPAN
My cousin married an AUSTRALIAN
We are no JEWS
But everybody’s LEAVING
I pray I go to HEAVEN…
knick and knacks 